Tota's Turtle Story

TMNT/The Tortoise & The Hare/ Toxic Turtle, as told by an Akwesasne Tota:

“You want to watch this Teenage Mutant Neeen-tsia Turtles on TV? Iah. Come listen to Tota's story about the Moo-tant Turtles." #ARezStory

"Once upon a Rez, there was this magical land. It had the biggest runs of sturgeon the world had seen! It also had a lot of deer and Tahontaneken and turtles. A big bad man named Reynolds and another big bad man named TSi- EMMM..."

"You mean Jim, Tota?"

"Sure..Jim. Tekiten. So the bad men, Reynolds and Jim, built their big castles and put moats of green and black ooze around them, so nobody could storm the castles or get to their money. Outside the big walls of the castles lived all the wild animals, and they loved to eat and drink and play in the ooze. It was like how you little guys like to play with slime. The baby turtles especially loved playing in the ooze cuz it reminded them of being inside the egg. The little turtles grew up playing in the ooze for years and years, until they were teenagers. When they were teenagers, one turtle, Franklin, got sick and had to see the doctor. The doctor said, 'turtle, wahe, you're toxic.' And the turtle said 'oh, tekiten!' and fainted. When he woke up on his shell, the turtle doctor said 'its not all bad news though, you are 100 times stronger and faster than most turtles'. This is where the story of the turtle and the rabbit that they tell you in school comes in. They just say "tortoise and hare" cuz they don't wanna give credit to the Onkwehon:we people, but here, we tell the story the right way, the Onkwehon: WAY. So, the rabbit and the turtle were down on River Road heading back from the Island. Rabbit was a jittering fellow, no patience at all, he was from the Island. But turtle, his family was from Snye. Rabbit said, "Hatskwi Turtle, I'll race you to Sugar Bush! I'm gonna win though, I know how slow you Turtles are, slower than my tota!" Franklin, the turtle, smiled. *Heheh, Rabbit doesn't know I got them super powers* He looked at the Rabbit, and said, 'Skoden, tewahonhtes!' Franklin and the Rabbit then ran head-to-head down River Road. Rabbit got a little bit of a lead, and he was really prideful, like any Mohawk bunny would be, so he turned around to see how far of a lead he had on Franklin the turtle. This is where the stories they tell you in school get it wrong. Rabbit, didn't sit down and take a break, no. Rabbit was too distracted looking behind him, that when he turned around, he came face to face with the biggest, meanest, drooliest, rez dog, Er:har. Er:har and Rabbit go way back, and Er:har chased Rabbit down School Road. Franklin the turtle was farther behind, and didnt see Rabbit get chased down the road, so when he made it around the curve, he thought he had some catching up to do. So he turned on his toxic turtle jets and boot-scooted all the way to Sugar Bush. By now, word had gotten to the other animals there was a race afoot, and many had floated with the current down to the finish line to see who won. Low and behold...the winner was.... Franklin the turtle. Some of the otters said "Oooohhhhh!" and the deer said, "oh dear!" the pack of rez dogs said "woof!" the wolves said, "WEH!" and the foxes, well they did their old Tota screech, because nobody could believe that, Franklin, a turtle, could win such a race. And as the rez gossip flies, the otters told the squirrels, and the squirrels told the Snye Alligator, and the Gator told the old Chapman Road cows, and the cows Moo-ed about it, all word got all the way down the rez and even down into country areas like Malone and Bombay. Everyone was so shocked, they decided to name the whole county after the turtle. And that's why the rez is beside Franklin county."